Summer Is Officially Here
The days are longer and football fever has swept the nation. England has passed through the early stages of the World Cup and has managed to avoid facing Germany in the next match. Wayne Rooney is back on his feet and Jeremy Clarkson is currently chilling somewhere with his latest 207 complaining about the new taxes on various items.
All in all a lot of things have happened since I last blogged. I must admit seeing my page after almost a month, it has become as run down as a '20 year old Atap House'. And for this I apologise. I have been busy at work and serving the 'Great' British public. Providing them with the very important element of alcohol to fuel their ever growing liver diseases and of course fags to keep up their cool image.
So to spice things up a bit, I’ll use what the media does, talk about sex. Yes, it has been reported that the UK has the most porno channels in Europe. That’s right folks, they beat Germany, Italy, Poland, Finland, and believe it not France. How can the British with all their ‘Upper Class’ high society attitudes drop down to these levels of debauchery. That and the alarming rise of ‘Dogging’ cases (having sexual intercourse out in the open) has literary shown that Britain has gone to the dogs. No doubt with this summer heat there are only to be more cases.
The officials have noted this rise and have taken advantage of the ferocious sexual appetite by increasing the taxes on condoms. Hell, if even 50% of the people use condoms that’s about a few million pounds in earnings. Obviously this lead to a huge uproar by the public arguing that this would just result in more teenage pregnancy and why should they tax people for wanting to practice safe sex and help control the already huge number of unwanted pregnancies. As usual the government caved and the whole of Britain rejoiced.
So now with everyone happy, the famous condom machines that are littered all over Britain are once again filled with a multitude of cheaper condoms. That and of course painkillers. After all, when you fight so hard to get something like cheaper condoms to make your partner agree to opening up her legs and spread eagle, the last thing you want is her complaining about a headache right?
The days are longer and football fever has swept the nation. England has passed through the early stages of the World Cup and has managed to avoid facing Germany in the next match. Wayne Rooney is back on his feet and Jeremy Clarkson is currently chilling somewhere with his latest 207 complaining about the new taxes on various items.
All in all a lot of things have happened since I last blogged. I must admit seeing my page after almost a month, it has become as run down as a '20 year old Atap House'. And for this I apologise. I have been busy at work and serving the 'Great' British public. Providing them with the very important element of alcohol to fuel their ever growing liver diseases and of course fags to keep up their cool image.
So to spice things up a bit, I’ll use what the media does, talk about sex. Yes, it has been reported that the UK has the most porno channels in Europe. That’s right folks, they beat Germany, Italy, Poland, Finland, and believe it not France. How can the British with all their ‘Upper Class’ high society attitudes drop down to these levels of debauchery. That and the alarming rise of ‘Dogging’ cases (having sexual intercourse out in the open) has literary shown that Britain has gone to the dogs. No doubt with this summer heat there are only to be more cases.
The officials have noted this rise and have taken advantage of the ferocious sexual appetite by increasing the taxes on condoms. Hell, if even 50% of the people use condoms that’s about a few million pounds in earnings. Obviously this lead to a huge uproar by the public arguing that this would just result in more teenage pregnancy and why should they tax people for wanting to practice safe sex and help control the already huge number of unwanted pregnancies. As usual the government caved and the whole of Britain rejoiced.
Millions of people celebrated that night
So now with everyone happy, the famous condom machines that are littered all over Britain are once again filled with a multitude of cheaper condoms. That and of course painkillers. After all, when you fight so hard to get something like cheaper condoms to make your partner agree to opening up her legs and spread eagle, the last thing you want is her complaining about a headache right?
What do I pick? what do I pick?
posted by Danny Kia at 3:10 AM
1 comments
