“It’s them evil advertisers I tell you” Part 2

Brits love their animals. They bring them everywhere. We’re talking subways, busses, shopping, holiday, dental appointments, whatever. You’d think that anyone who buys food for their pets but not themselves is crazy, but you must understand that pets aren’t just animal to the Brits. We’re talking an extension of the family here!

Animal welfare groups are extremely powerful in the UK and can literary force a farm to be closed should they break what they consider inhuman treatment to animals, and for some animal lovers that can sometime cross the boundary’s of sanity.

MRI’s for cats and dogs’ are now common. Cat’s in pain? Get morphine. Their thinking is what medical help we get, our pets should get them too. If you think about it, people are actually treating their pets like babies. Which makes you wander why they don’t just adopt a baby? They can’t argue that the baby isn’t theirs because they sure as hell didn’t give birth to a dog or car, and maybe in some cases hamsters.

Advertisers know this and use it to the max. Below are some examples. Whether they are there to win public opinion or the fact that animals just look cute and cuddly therefore attracting a potential customer’s attention, you can’t deny that putting animals on Briton’s ad’s is a very common practice. The best part of it of cause, it works.

Becoming Vegetarian
Jack Daniels A
Jack Daniels B
Durex A
Durex B

A Boy in the Big City

Ok I admit I haven’t really explored London. I mean after taking at lest 1 ½ hours just to reach college and another 1 ½ to get back, the last thing you want to do I walk around the town. What’s worse with winter here, it’s already as black as midnight by 4pm. With no car and having to wholly rely on public transport, I wouldn’t even call it safe to travel at night. (A friendly reminder, a woman was gunned down on the path I take to college everyday)

So anyway, one day the day was bright and sunny and I though what the heck, so here is a short story of a boy in the city. First stop, Piccadilly Circus.

Looks a lot like Hong Kong

Fact is, London like every other city in the world is just the same. Filled with trendy designer goods at really expensive prices (they have a tax called VAT). So everything is extra expensive. But there still are some good deals available to those who look hard enough. 70% off brand new things are commonplace and if I was a more avid shopper I would tell you about them.

Unfortunately, the only thing that caught my attention was the brand new X-Box 360. The playable version of course J. Graphics? Superb! , Sound Quality? Amazing! Price? 299GBP … way out of my league. L

OoO. All I want for Xmas

A Serious Update

I do apologize for not posting regularly, its just that with the amount of essays piling up I had no choice but to abandon criticizing the Brit’s about everything they do. Thankfully, I’m back and I’m going to compensate by posting a huge update. So sit, and enjoy the pictures.

Terrorist in Our Midst

As you all know, I was stopped by local authorities while making my usual college run at London Waterloo. I wrote an article about it saying how they were not picking up random terror suspects, rather than just simply targeting minorities. Now if I (wearing a light jacket with jeans and a small fluffy backpack) could be a terror suspect then subjected to a search and questioning, what would they have done to the owner of the car below?

The Photographer apologises for his lack of courage

Yes folks that is a brand new BMW with the license plate ‘J111 HAD’. Sorry for the poor picture quality but do remember, but I just could not force myself to go closer. After all, what if he was one?

Anyway, that is beside the point. Tony Blair is constantly fighting for the approval for his pet project, the ‘Terror Law’. Now I will skip all the mumbo jumbo about extended detention without trail and the ability of the local police to literary become ‘Judge Dreads’, becoming the Judge, Jury and Executor. The law is so vague it can be interpreted in many dangerous ways and this had lead to Tony’s first ever defeat in the commons.

I doubt anyone would really love to have this law implemented. Imagine this, you can be shot for something you said. Can you believe that? Shoot for something you said! Don’t believe me? You try going onboard a plane and at 10,000ft should, or go onboard a packed subway and shout “In the name of ALLAH!” I guarantee you, you will be shot.

Who Cares About Your Products!

If you asked me what’s the most annoying thing about Living in London, it’s has to be the bloody sales calls. I mean who in their right mind would want to buy a house, car, refinance their house loans, and just today getting an American Work Permit.

To imagine that there is a whole army of people sitting in a room full of phones randomly calling anyone and everyone in the phonebook. Thanks to me having a study week, I get the whole week off to finish the mindless essays etc. During the four days, I’ve been attacked by no less than 12 phone calls. All during the most important hours of the day. Lunch and dinner time.

At first I was apprehensive about how I could tell them off. I mean they are human after all. Plus, I’ve been rejected by a ton of people during my days as a Mass Com student as well as working as a journalist. I know it sucks to be told off so usually I try to be really really nice. That’s until I got a pre recoded voice message. I mean at lest have the decency to tell me in person and not using a bloody machine.

So thanks to that machine I’ve managed to unleash all my frustration onto that poor helpless machine.

Machine: Hello, I’m Jamie. I was wondering if you’ll be interested in buying a home in the *I interrupt*

Me: Who the F*** do you think you call calling at this B***DY hour and making P*** OFF. Don’t you know that I’ve got other F***KING things to do rather that F***KING entertain you piece of S*** machinery.

Machine: All you have to do use press *I interrupt again*

Me: You want me to press ya! I’ll come F***KING press you right now your B****DY piece of S*** . Get your freaking A** down here this F***KING minute and I’ll B***DY kick you’re A** and then I’ll press you F***KING S***

Machine: Thank you and good bye.

Whew… that was good. All my stress and anger for the past 3 days, gone just like that.

B***DY S**TY C*** that can’t F***KING think in this B***DY world.

It’s Good to Be Bad

It’s been a month since I’ve landed in the land of horses and kings and I’ve decided finally to give my self a treat. So what will it be, a BMW, a Playstation 2, or maybe even a Motorbike? Nah I settled for the best thing money could buy, a meal at Burger King.

This particular Burger King outlet has been teasing me everyday for the past 3 weeks. Just sitting there with it’s big fat signs saying it’s only (1.99 pounds) a burger, come try our new bbq double cheese burger. So today, seeing that it was a holiday for me and I’ve managed to save 20pounds from transport, I decided what the heck.

The queue was surprisingly long, service was slow and the staff were almost never at the counter. Apparently, fast food is just as slow as it is in Malaysia. Anyway, I was spoiled for choices, choose the hugely popular Whooper, or something new? So after considerable consideration (what a stupid combination of words), I got the most NoN Halal burger I could fine ;) The Bacon Double Cheese Burger, in LARGE thank you.

Hrmm Large

I have to say I was disappointed at the size. It ain’t big big like the Americans, and sure the burger is big, but it still can’t justify it’s RM 31.50 price tag (It's inclusive of the drinks and fries and of cause the damn taxes Grrr). Still, after resisting temptation and taking these pictures for all you good folks, I tucked in, and to my disbelief they managed to burn the beef. Sheesh, how can you burn the beef!It's pretty obvious that they've only got two meathods of cooking, deep fying and pan fying. Sigh ... no originality lolz.

Hrmm Whooper? Har?

Hrmm just the packaging

Bacon, so non-halal

It was then I noticed the notice on my ‘unhealthy sized’ cup of Coke, it reads:

Not as big as Supersize in US

“This cup makes a statement about you. It says “Hey, look at me. I’m an ambitious and decisive person” You could have gone larger, but you didn’t. You could have gone small, but you decided against it. No, you know exactly what you want in life and that you’ll always have it your way”

Now this just makes you wonder. Is Burger King encouraging people to be proud their taking the large meal? Don’t they know the health implications this could draw up? I can imagine a lawsuit saying “Burger King brain washed me into thinking I need to buy large meals to be confident. Now look at me!” It’s just sick ….

Might as well say, You're unhealthy and you're paying way too much for food, but since you like it and probbaly can't live without it, Lemme print this on the cup to make you feel better muahahaha.

This is a relatively uninformative post, but I’m just using it as an excuse to post pictures of burgers hehe. Oh I almost forgot my verdict of the meal.

!!! BUrrrRRrrRRrP !!! – Definitely won’t have another for a long time.

Scared Little Kittens

The British are obviously concern about the threat of terrorism. Duh, that’s pretty obvious after what happened this year. They’ve placed more CCTV, more policemen patrolling the streets, increased their requirements for a British Visa, the most annoying one has to be the rude security stops.

Thanks to the public in complete utter panic, the government has made a few changes to the law. The most significant one has to be the section 43(1) Terrorism Act 2000. Now I was simply trying to get to college on time when suddenly I was stopped by a copper asking to check my bag. ‘Fine’, I’ve seen them checking others before and it was quick and painless. Unfortunately, after rummaging my backpack which obviously only holds my lunch and books, he held me back for some questions like my name and address.

Now the news here reports that the bombers were homegrown. In fact if you look at the history of the terrorist activities here in the Great Britain, most of them are home grown! So why are they instead, bothering all the minorities. Yeah cause I’m ‘Yellow’ its obvious I’m not British, therefore I’m a candidate for terrorism. Doesn’t’ the word home grown mean anything? I’m not muslim and the only organization I might remotely be affiliated with Chinese Communism Party under the leadership by Chin Peng which by the way were supplied weapons by the British to fight the Japanese in World War Two.

By the way, their dead.

Am I angry because they made me miss my train? Or am I angry because they’re treating us foreigners as 3^rd world country trash.

Anyways, I’ve checked out the law so if you’re ever stopped by a policeman in the UK, do the following.

What a Policeman must do

They must tell you:

Their name

The purpose for their search

The legal power their exercising

The ground and authorization for the search

You’re entitled to a full copy of the search unless wholly impractical.

Now one of the most annoying and possibly one most easily abused

Sec 44(1) and 44(2) of the Terrorism Act 2000

There are also powers to stop and search vehicles and their occupants 44(1) and pedestrians 44(2) in an area, if a senior police officer authorizes it to prevent acts of terrorism.

For this law, the officer doesn’t need to have reasonable grounds to suspect the individual stopped or searched of carrying dangerous instruments or offensive weapons or involved in terrorism, however these powers can only be used by a policeman in uniform.

So make sure you learn these laws well. Don’t let their bloody paranoia cause us trouble for living honest hardworking lives. Just cause we’re a minority doesn’t mean we’re denied basic human rights.

Online Buying, A Good Thing? Or Bad Thing?

Online buying has never really taken off in Malaysia. Usually people order from Amazon or the brand new Ebay Malaysia, but over here it’s like second nature. You pay your bills; buy your groceries, your clothes all without even touching the product. So when I saw a website selling a branded motorcycle helmets at 50% off, I just had to try it.

Very wary of online scams, I double checked all the verification sites they had listed. Check their web addresses, and of course research other buyers experience with the site. I picked the cheapest of the lot, at 47.90 pounds and waited anxiously for the delivery.

2 days later I got my receipt in the mail but no helmet. But on Tuesday, ah … the fated delivery came. In fact I didn’t even sign for it. Strangely it was left outside my door. Very strange considering you’ll need a special key to enter my apartment and the mail boxes are downstairs. Also they didn’t ring the door bell …. Hmm, so if you want to deliver a bomb to someone and make sure they get it. Use a delivery service.

Anyways, obviously excited I ripped the contents out and to my horror, the colours were completely wrong. I order a Black/Red/Silver combination, instead I got some funky blue design with red and orange striped etc. Looking at it makes you feel like a clown. Still, this being my first helmet I couldn’t care less. Plus it was a steal anyway at that price.

So putting it on and finding it really tight I thought well that wasn’t too bad. Great for a first purchase, ‘WRONG’. Apparently the problem wasn’t just the colour, but the actual model itself. A quick check with the invoice, which was conveniently buried under the packaging showed that this helmet was actually destined to be in the hands of a Mrs Suse. *Gasp*

So what do I do? Keep the helmet which is 4 times more expensive than the one I paid? Or do I do the moral thing and pack up the helmet and report the mess up to the website? Hmm …

Fine, so I caved and I reported it. I said I’m sorry there’s been a mistake yada yada yada, and this was their reply.

“We have looked into the situation regarding the fact you have received the

wrong helmet. The error was on the part of our suppliers who despatch the

helmets direct for us and obviously they mixed up the orders. The Shark RSX

Chambon is a far more expensive helmet than the S500 and better quality. If

you wish you may keep the Chambon unless you particularly wanted the S500

Fractal. Also please accept our apologies for any confusion caused to you.”

LOL, so it’s pretty obvious which I one I took eh. :)

WOO HOO ! Fantastic bargain :)